David and Sarah McDonald
[email protected]
496-1171

           The Archdiocese’s Office of Marriage and Family Life will begin this program in a 10 week to help those struggling with loss due to death, divorce or separation. It begins on Wednesday, November 28, 2018, from 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM at St. Angela Merici's Conference Hall adjacent to the Church, 835 Melody Street in Metairie. The cost is $35.00.  Call Bette Armentor at 504-339-7776.

           This program is designed to provide help and support to married couples who are undergoing difficulties in their relationship. Sponsored by the Catholic Church, it is open to couples of all faiths and has proven helpful to couples who are troubled and stressed or whose relationship has grown cold and distant.
           The next Retrouvaille Weekend will be on January 11 -13, 2019, at the William J. Kelly Retreat Center in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. Register or get additional info at https:// w w w . h e l p o u r m a r r i a g e . o r g / o r e m a i l [email protected].

          Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat, scheduled for November 9-11 2018,  is a retreat to help women and men who are hurting from an abortion or miscarriage. The retreat is confidential and nonjudgmental. All faiths are welcome. The cost is $190/person, but financial assistance is available.
          Priest Facilitator is Fr. David Seid, O.P.  Contact the retreat facilitators:
                        Pam Richard (504) 460-9360 or [email protected]
                        Donna Sheuermann (504) 258-9183 or [email protected]

             There is a Married Couples Retreat on October 26-28, 2018 at St. Joseph Abbey Christian Life Center, the Benedictine Monastery located near Covington. Register online at www.stjosephabbey.com or call Lynette at (985) 892-3473.  

1. Stick to the subject.  Don’t dredge up the past.   
2. Be honest but not hurtful.  Choose your words carefully.   
3. Use “I feel” messages.  For example, instead of saying “You make me angry when you are late,” try “I feel annoyed when you don’t call to let me know you won’t be home for dinner.  I want you to let me know when you are going to be late.”   When we begin feeling statements with “you,” this often puts the other person on the defensive.
4. No name calling, including pet names used sarcastically.  The better you know someone, the better  you know his or her vulnerable spots.  
5. Remain calm.  No yelling and no violence, but don’t use the “silent treatment” and sweep a problem under the rug either.
6. No third parties.  Don’t drag a family member, friend or stranger into a conflict.  This makes the conflict much harder to resolve.  The only exception is if you both agree that you need the help of a professional (counselor, financial advisor, clergy), or if you both agree to ask someone you know for advice.
7. Choose the time of your discussion carefully.  Make sure you have enough time for open and honest discussion.  Avoid times such as just before leaving for work, late at night, or just before someone is about to come over.  Be sure to finish the argument even if you have to call a truce until you have time to think and pray about it or agree to hold it until a time that is more conducive to coming to a resolution.
8.  Give each other equal time.  Don’t interrupt when the other is speaking.  Listen to one another.  Give the other a fair chance to express feelings and opinions. Repeat back what he or she is saying without rebuttal or embellishment.  If you can’t do this, consider writing and dialoguing.
9.  Maintain a sense of humor.
10. Avoid power statement and actions:  “I hate you,”  “Maybe I should move out.”  Never threaten to withdraw support, financial backing or love.
11. Avoid exaggerations or hysterical statements.  Avoid using “always” or “never” unless you say, “I will always love you and I will never leave you.”
12. When you’re wrong, admit it.  
13. Saying “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” is important, but also be sure to ask for forgiveness:  “Will   you forgive me?” transfers the power to the person who is hurt.
14. Hold hands to maintain contact.  It’s harder to stay angry or hurt when there’s tender physical contact.
        [These Guidelines have been taken (with just a few emendations) from the Handbook for Catholic Engaged Encounter.] Revised and updated November, 2018